The Absolute Lie: “Women Don’t Have Hobbies”

Months ago, I saw a guy on TikTok saying that women don’t have hobbies. I kind of dismissed it because I assumed that obviously this was one idiot who didn’t take an interest in the hobbies of the women in his life. But recently, I’ve seen this idea come up again, and even worse, I’ve seen women going along with it, saying that we have “girl hobbies”. The internet trend of “I’m just a girl” and “girl dinner” was funny at first, but now it’s progressed to degrade and almost infantilize women, like “the only thing your little pea brain could possibly want to do is get coffee and go shopping”. Now don’t get me wrong, I love getting coffee and going shopping, but it’s far from the only thing I enjoy. And if you enjoy it too, don’t let people make you feel bad about it!

I think one of the biggest disconnects is the way that men and women tend to interact with hobbies. Now, this in no way applies to all men and all women, but generally I feel like men tend to use hobbies as a prerequisite to spending time with their friends. For example, men will have subgroups of friends that they correlate to different activities (golf friends, video game friends, friends they go to the bar with, etc), and they’re more inclined to ask each other to do a specific activity instead of asking the generic “do you want to hang out?”. As a woman, I feel like our hobbies are either enjoyed alone, or act as icing on the cake of spending time with friends. I’m much more likely to ask my friends “do you want to hangout?”, and then figure out the activity later.

My relationship with hobbies is kind of odd, though. I have kind of a jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none vibe going on. I enjoy a lot of things, but I’m not really extraordinary at any of them.

I play guitar, but I’m not stunningly good at it. The one advantage I have is that I can sing and play at the same time, which, until recently, I didn’t know a lot of guitarists struggle with. I think I’m a good singer, but I’m just okay at guitar, and I’m a mediocre pianist. Either way, I love music.

I love to read and play cards, especially with my mom and grandma. I also like to bake and cook for people that I care about. I like art, especially drawing (with just regular graphite pencils) and painting, especially with watercolors. I don’t pretend to be a phenomenal artist, but it’s very relaxing.

I love crossword puzzles, word games, and board games. I HAVE to play Wordle, Connections, and the Mini Crossword on the New York Times Games app every day. I wasn’t raised on video games, but I love Mario Kart and Animal Crossing, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder than playing Overcooked with my family.

I like knitting, but I’m really not that advanced. I know how to knit and purl, but I’ve never done a fancy design. All I’ve ever made are dishcloths and scarves. The scarves were one step up because I did stockinette stitch with a garter stitch border (the knitting girls get it). It was slightly more challenging, but really nothing special. Regardless, I had fun.

I used to dance (tap was my favorite) and be in theatre. I also used to play soccer, and I was terrible at it. My coach once said he wouldn’t put me in because “he needed someone fast”. My seventh grade brain was not prepared for that emotional hit. However, I had fun running around with my friends, and there was a rush every time we scored (although now that I think about it, I don’t think I was responsible for a single goal).

I like to workout, although you wouldn’t know by looking at me. When the weather’s nice, I like to go for walks, and when it’s crappy I ride the stationary bike in my apartment. I also like riding my penny board in the summer. I feel like I need to stress that it’s a penny board, so no, I can’t do tricks, but that’s not the point. I just want to cruise around. I’m kind of getting into strength training (the Fitbod app is my savior), but I can’t lift super heavy.

I like fishing, but I don’t have fancy equipment. I stay true to my rod and spinnerbaits that I’ve had since middle school. I like thrifting and antiquing, especially when I get a chance to restore or upcycle something. I refinished an old chest with a turntable in it, and had so much fun doing it. I also want to get into photography. I got to take pictures for an event at work, and I loved it. After I save up a little bit, I want to get a nice camera, but I might not be able to do that for a while. I also think it’d be especially cool to have higher quality pictures to post on here.

And I would consider this blog a hobby. I like writing my posts, designing the website, and choosing pictures to go with things. So yes, women have hobbies. If you’re a man who doesn’t think women have hobbies, I’m begging you to talk to the women in your life, and take an active interest in the things that they enjoy. If you’re a woman, don’t succumb to the “girl hobby” trope. Take stock of the activities you enjoy, and be proud of them. You have hobbies, I promise.